It has being quite awhile since I come back on writing this blog. Not that I am busy, but just feel that there's no point writing. I think..
These days, the weather are getting hotter. So hot, that I think is unbearable. Even here, the summer really would not make me sweat. Makes me feel that winter could be better than summer.
Anyway, I always heard this phrase. "Summer is the season for romantic relationship." Haha.. Don't ask me where I heard this, coz I never remember.
Until now, I always feel God always have HIS way of pushing us towards the way HE wanted. I don't know how HE did it but it always turns out all the outcome is not what I imagined. But since God is in control, I have nothing to worry. Just gonna do my best to work everything out. I know God would provide me with all the things that I need.
Like my HUGE title said, My Life Starts Here. It IS a TURNING POINT for me. Coming to Japan is unexpected for me. Being able to survive here is also unexpected for me as well. God definitely have HIS plan for me. Because everything seems to going towards the right way.
These few months, I think God trying to settle me down. Well, for starters, I always have a feeling that within 3 years, I would be married and going on with my life non-single. Argh.. so sad, I have to put my Europe trip aside and focus on God's work. Well, I guess it is time anyway. Working for God full time. Guess playing too long kinda makes us all tired as well, emotionally and physically. AND time is not on our side. Coz we all grow older day by day.
For these few months, I have keep asking God. Where is my life partner then? If needed to settle down, I would want someone to accompany me. Would not like to live my life alone. And yeah, who would want that?
Well, from this day on. Would rush forward. Not looking back into my past and feel sad. It is time to move forward and see what God have in store for me.
To tell the truth, till now and in my future. I always hold on to one words. Never change no matter what. That is LOVE. I always have the heart to love people, love myself and love everything around me. Eventhough I might look cold and not open up to people, but I am trying my best to love people around me, who needed love from people.
Talk about love. Start from yesterday, I am having a 40 days fasting. This is to prove to God that I am serious about wanting my friend gotten safe. I wanted God to present miracle to my friend so that she can realize God is the only true God who can save her soul and her life. Well, 40 days fasting dinner is so hard. But to prove my sincerity to God. It is something I have to do. Just hope the results works.
That's it from me today. Everyone have a great day ahead. God bless.
P.S. It is really a hot day. Feel like getting some ice-cream. But on dieting and fasting. So sad. And study so hard. Pray for me ok? 皆さん、頑張れ。皆の生活は絶対に楽しみになります。
q(^_^)p
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Friday, April 11, 2008
Breakthrough in my Life
To tell the truth, I never know God can be this persuasive. Haha.. I felt like now I have being put into a hot pan and ask me to be still.. to wait for my turn to move. Regardless it is about work or about my life.
HE is teaching me patience. In my room, HE teach me how to be patient with my room mate. In outside, HE teach me to be patient to wait for a job. A job that is suitable for me.
Funny isn't it? How our life turns out. These days slowly, I am letting go of my own plan and stick to God's plan.
I always feel it is a waste to let go of my own plan to go Europe and have a travel before I reach 30. But God always have HIS plan to mess up ours. Well, just go with the flow I guess.
Now I don't care anymore. Just stay here and focus on what I should be doing for God. Not for myself. Maybe that would produce more fruits for me. And also help me to settle down as well. Struggle in my life maybe would help me grow.
These days, it is only about me and God. About building my relationship with God. About me building relationship with people and also have a great life ahead with my trust on GOD.
Anyway, my life still good. Just going through some changes. Good changes that would bring me to a better place. I always believe God has a plan for me. All I need to do is trust in GOD and go for it. Maybe one day I would realized the dreams that God always put in my heart.
Take care people. May God bless you all too.
P.S. Always praying for my friends in Malaysia, Australia and Japan. Of course, Indonesia friends as well.. ;)
HE is teaching me patience. In my room, HE teach me how to be patient with my room mate. In outside, HE teach me to be patient to wait for a job. A job that is suitable for me.
Funny isn't it? How our life turns out. These days slowly, I am letting go of my own plan and stick to God's plan.
I always feel it is a waste to let go of my own plan to go Europe and have a travel before I reach 30. But God always have HIS plan to mess up ours. Well, just go with the flow I guess.
Now I don't care anymore. Just stay here and focus on what I should be doing for God. Not for myself. Maybe that would produce more fruits for me. And also help me to settle down as well. Struggle in my life maybe would help me grow.
These days, it is only about me and God. About building my relationship with God. About me building relationship with people and also have a great life ahead with my trust on GOD.
Anyway, my life still good. Just going through some changes. Good changes that would bring me to a better place. I always believe God has a plan for me. All I need to do is trust in GOD and go for it. Maybe one day I would realized the dreams that God always put in my heart.
Take care people. May God bless you all too.
P.S. Always praying for my friends in Malaysia, Australia and Japan. Of course, Indonesia friends as well.. ;)
Monday, April 7, 2008
Living in this crazy world.
These two days, I have being doing some journaling about my spiritual life. Throughout my journaling, I always have the idea that God had given me victory. All I have to do is believe and wait still for the promise to come to me.
These days, I have being waiting for a job. I have being waiting for my turn to earn my own money. Well, to tell the truth, I am trying to teach. But since no students, I am kinda free.
Life here without money is suffering. Haha.. Sadly to say, now I suddenly realized when we need money to survive.. God is very important all of the sudden because in this life, we need HIM to survive in this crazy world.
Guess everyone have their world to live right? I need to find my own already. I have being wondering around for too long.
Living here suddenly opens up my mind about the reality of life. Makes me a better person, ( Hopefully ). And also let me understand about ways to survive in this world.
These days, I have being waiting for a job. I have being waiting for my turn to earn my own money. Well, to tell the truth, I am trying to teach. But since no students, I am kinda free.
Life here without money is suffering. Haha.. Sadly to say, now I suddenly realized when we need money to survive.. God is very important all of the sudden because in this life, we need HIM to survive in this crazy world.
Guess everyone have their world to live right? I need to find my own already. I have being wondering around for too long.
Living here suddenly opens up my mind about the reality of life. Makes me a better person, ( Hopefully ). And also let me understand about ways to survive in this world.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Boredness and Wasting Money
Wonder why I put boredness and wasting money as title today?
I wanted to talk about my life here. Well, this is kinda the ups and downs of my life. To tell the truth, working here is all about self improvement. In order to stay in this country, I think everyone would go through boredness in their experience.
Somehow, I know God put me here for a good reason. Everyone that I heard, is not good to stay in Japan. Haha.. I also have no idea why I would be staying here. But since I have the passion for the people here, and God wanted me to stay here. Guess I have no looking back.
Almost everyday, I look back at my life. How far had I walked in my life. What had I done. And to tell the truth, nothing. All I see is that I just walking down a path which is so lonely and fill with so much uncertainty.
And these days, as time flows by, it gives me a even clear idea about life. It is so short that we could spend our entire life without doing anything useful. So Why are we born in this earth? What is our purpose?
Don't get me wrong. As for me, seriously, I know my purpose. I know that I have to spread gospel here and tell Japanese people about God. HE had brought me so far. And in this life, without HIM, I would never be surviving until now.
In my life, I feel I wasted alot of my mother's money as well. Well, not because I don't understand saving money is important, but it is hard for me to understand the value of money. But to tell the truth, ever since I prayed to God to help me save money and see the value of money. I started to understand all the $$ and the numbers. Haha..
But there is still a long way to go. In Japan, we should save money wisely. Not everything can be save and not everything can be buy. That's where my logic comes in.
All my close friends still keep telling me that I am a very sensible person. Very logical person. I really feel that this is my strength and also my weakness. Being sensible and logical person maybe can earn one's trust. But it also causes me to lost my emotions.
Everyday, I felt like a robot living in a world full of traps. And this robot, not only can avoid problems and issues, it can help people to live their life. This is somehow I felt of myself. But after awhile, I started to think about my life. What had I done to myself? Why couldn't I like someone? Why could't I dare myself to chase after the emotions that I long for?
Well, that's all my feeling.
In real life, I am still like to help people. Maybe it is somehow my calling. To sacrifice myself for the sake of others. Ever since young, I always have the feeling that I should LOVE others like I love myself. Therefore, I never gave up on this concept and live forward with this mindset.
This is what being keeping me alive and keeping me living in my own dreams. Recently, suddenly I woke up from this dream and realized maybe what I did is for nothing.
But I trust in God. I trust in HIS calling for me. If not I would be surviving for so long. I know that being a human means we would have doubts and have sadness.
I believe that in time to come, I would fulfill my purpose for God and live my life to the fullness. For now, all we need is patience and endurance. Endure all the hardship until I can reach my goal. Till now, God had never let me down. No matter how hard my problems are, it would never compare to the pain that Jesus died for me at the cross. It is the worst punishment beyond everyone could imagine. Therefore, I would never give up and live forward. I always see a silver lining in my life. Hopefully can reach there soon.
Anyway, God bless everyone.
I wanted to talk about my life here. Well, this is kinda the ups and downs of my life. To tell the truth, working here is all about self improvement. In order to stay in this country, I think everyone would go through boredness in their experience.
Somehow, I know God put me here for a good reason. Everyone that I heard, is not good to stay in Japan. Haha.. I also have no idea why I would be staying here. But since I have the passion for the people here, and God wanted me to stay here. Guess I have no looking back.
Almost everyday, I look back at my life. How far had I walked in my life. What had I done. And to tell the truth, nothing. All I see is that I just walking down a path which is so lonely and fill with so much uncertainty.
And these days, as time flows by, it gives me a even clear idea about life. It is so short that we could spend our entire life without doing anything useful. So Why are we born in this earth? What is our purpose?
Don't get me wrong. As for me, seriously, I know my purpose. I know that I have to spread gospel here and tell Japanese people about God. HE had brought me so far. And in this life, without HIM, I would never be surviving until now.
In my life, I feel I wasted alot of my mother's money as well. Well, not because I don't understand saving money is important, but it is hard for me to understand the value of money. But to tell the truth, ever since I prayed to God to help me save money and see the value of money. I started to understand all the $$ and the numbers. Haha..
But there is still a long way to go. In Japan, we should save money wisely. Not everything can be save and not everything can be buy. That's where my logic comes in.
All my close friends still keep telling me that I am a very sensible person. Very logical person. I really feel that this is my strength and also my weakness. Being sensible and logical person maybe can earn one's trust. But it also causes me to lost my emotions.
Everyday, I felt like a robot living in a world full of traps. And this robot, not only can avoid problems and issues, it can help people to live their life. This is somehow I felt of myself. But after awhile, I started to think about my life. What had I done to myself? Why couldn't I like someone? Why could't I dare myself to chase after the emotions that I long for?
Well, that's all my feeling.
In real life, I am still like to help people. Maybe it is somehow my calling. To sacrifice myself for the sake of others. Ever since young, I always have the feeling that I should LOVE others like I love myself. Therefore, I never gave up on this concept and live forward with this mindset.
This is what being keeping me alive and keeping me living in my own dreams. Recently, suddenly I woke up from this dream and realized maybe what I did is for nothing.
But I trust in God. I trust in HIS calling for me. If not I would be surviving for so long. I know that being a human means we would have doubts and have sadness.
I believe that in time to come, I would fulfill my purpose for God and live my life to the fullness. For now, all we need is patience and endurance. Endure all the hardship until I can reach my goal. Till now, God had never let me down. No matter how hard my problems are, it would never compare to the pain that Jesus died for me at the cross. It is the worst punishment beyond everyone could imagine. Therefore, I would never give up and live forward. I always see a silver lining in my life. Hopefully can reach there soon.
Anyway, God bless everyone.
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