This is BULLSHIT

Is this kind of life I signed myself for? A life that keep getting hurt?

I already have no place to cry on. No one to talk to. No one to share my problems. Already so bad inside my heart. Still someone still have to ripped my pride and say I am flirting?

I wonder if asking a girl out just for a chat about serious stuff consider like asking them out? I feel all this is BULLSHIT. I am doing the right thing but being accuse of bad. I feel my pride being taken and being stamped on the floor.

Is this really kind of trials that I am prepared for? I am ready for any trials face to face if I done the wrong thing. I would take the blame if I know its somehow wrong. But not this. Not these BULLSHIT stuff. What have I done to deserve this punishment?? Maybe for some people, this is nothing. Being accused and being ripped apart of your pride. But my pride is my everything. I hate people accuse me if I am doing the right thing. Why the hell?

Church is suppose to be a place of love. A place to teach love. I consider myself a very patient person. Do not get angry and just keep quiet to handle problems. This is too much even for me. I have my limit too.

Anyway, I have enough. I wonder if I am suitable to lead in such a church. I feel so incompetent.
This is sick. This is just wrong for me. Anyway. enough of my crap.