Boredness and Wasting Money

Wonder why I put boredness and wasting money as title today?

I wanted to talk about my life here. Well, this is kinda the ups and downs of my life. To tell the truth, working here is all about self improvement. In order to stay in this country, I think everyone would go through boredness in their experience.

Somehow, I know God put me here for a good reason. Everyone that I heard, is not good to stay in Japan. Haha.. I also have no idea why I would be staying here. But since I have the passion for the people here, and God wanted me to stay here. Guess I have no looking back.

Almost everyday, I look back at my life. How far had I walked in my life. What had I done. And to tell the truth, nothing. All I see is that I just walking down a path which is so lonely and fill with so much uncertainty.

And these days, as time flows by, it gives me a even clear idea about life. It is so short that we could spend our entire life without doing anything useful. So Why are we born in this earth? What is our purpose?

Don't get me wrong. As for me, seriously, I know my purpose. I know that I have to spread gospel here and tell Japanese people about God. HE had brought me so far. And in this life, without HIM, I would never be surviving until now.

In my life, I feel I wasted alot of my mother's money as well. Well, not because I don't understand saving money is important, but it is hard for me to understand the value of money. But to tell the truth, ever since I prayed to God to help me save money and see the value of money. I started to understand all the $$ and the numbers. Haha..

But there is still a long way to go. In Japan, we should save money wisely. Not everything can be save and not everything can be buy. That's where my logic comes in.

All my close friends still keep telling me that I am a very sensible person. Very logical person. I really feel that this is my strength and also my weakness. Being sensible and logical person maybe can earn one's trust. But it also causes me to lost my emotions.

Everyday, I felt like a robot living in a world full of traps. And this robot, not only can avoid problems and issues, it can help people to live their life. This is somehow I felt of myself. But after awhile, I started to think about my life. What had I done to myself? Why couldn't I like someone? Why could't I dare myself to chase after the emotions that I long for?

Well, that's all my feeling.

In real life, I am still like to help people. Maybe it is somehow my calling. To sacrifice myself for the sake of others. Ever since young, I always have the feeling that I should LOVE others like I love myself. Therefore, I never gave up on this concept and live forward with this mindset.

This is what being keeping me alive and keeping me living in my own dreams. Recently, suddenly I woke up from this dream and realized maybe what I did is for nothing.

But I trust in God. I trust in HIS calling for me. If not I would be surviving for so long. I know that being a human means we would have doubts and have sadness.

I believe that in time to come, I would fulfill my purpose for God and live my life to the fullness. For now, all we need is patience and endurance. Endure all the hardship until I can reach my goal. Till now, God had never let me down. No matter how hard my problems are, it would never compare to the pain that Jesus died for me at the cross. It is the worst punishment beyond everyone could imagine. Therefore, I would never give up and live forward. I always see a silver lining in my life. Hopefully can reach there soon.

Anyway, God bless everyone.

Love (愛)

"Other country are lack of food, and physical resources. But Japan is a country, which is lack of love."

I love this phrase given by Jesus Life House's pastor today. That's right. Ever since I step into Japan. I can hear peoples' cry for love here. They are crying out for attention and peoples' care for them.

Here in Japan, it is a very advanced country. Everyone is living comfortably for their lives. When every physical need is being covered, people would yearn for something higher, LOVE. Strange isn't it. Those poor country people, would love each other and would appreciate with what they have. Yet, on the other hand, those rich country people, like Japan, they yearn for something which could never be able to be bought by money, which is love.

Everyday in Japan, I felt so burdened. Especially when I walk down on the street, seeing people talking to each other, all I felt is emptiness in their conversation and emptiness in their heart and faces. I wanted so much to tell them about God. Tell them about how great to believe in the one and only God.

I realized that Easter day, today not only about Jesus died for us and rose again. I felt that Easter day is also another event, which is important for us to renew our spirit to walk on the path of life.

God is amazing. I always believe that if we follow HIS plan, HE would provide us with everything that we need according to HIS will and HIS time. I always know the Holy Spirit have being guiding me to find the right church, the right people, the right job and the right university.

Well, ever since I felt that I being "planted" in Japan. Everything I need would be supplied to me. I felt peace in me. God is always with us and would help us walk thru the storm no matter what.

Lastly, let me tell you all about a song I found.
The youtube site for this song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kESLwpNZ_4

"This road that I'm taking twists and turns.
My Life, My Chance turning dreams into reality.
Down on this path, faced with so many things.
Sometimes I feel like giving up and turn away.

Can't seem to go on. And I've been thru' this before.
Now where am I? Where go I stand? A little lost here.
But I'll remember. All those times you've brought me thru'.
I'd be a fool to give up cos' the goal is near.

I'll move on. I'll go on. Lord I will take your hand.
And you will guide me along. Survive thru' this storm.
Yes, I will walk down this road.
And my passion drive will lead me on.

Here I am. Once again. Caught in the rain.
Looking back . I've come this far. And I want to carry on.

Take a step at a time. It's allright.
Even thru' this rain, I want to smile again.

Don't hold back now. And I've been thru' this before.
Now where am I? Where do I stand?
A little lost here. But I'll remember.
All those times you've brought me thru'.
I can feel the sun shinning down on me.

Here I am. Here I am. Lord I will take your hand.
And you will guide me along. Survive thru' this storm.
So I say, come what may. I'll hold on to my hope.
Yes, I will walk down this road.
And my passion drive will lead me on. "

Sang by Olivia Ong.
Title: I'll Move On

This song here. Tells exactly of my feeling. Everyday no matter where we are. No matter what problem we faced. Just seek God and remember all the good times HE had provide for us. We should have faith in God. Be thankful for each day and be strong everyday in the path that we are walking. One day, we will reach our goal and achieve our vision for God.

God bless people who read this blog. Have a great Easter day. And always be happy.

皆さんは頑張ね。毎日は神さまに頼むね。お元気で。

Boredness in my room

Have any of you know the meaning of boredome? Try to stuck inside a room for a day. Without talking to anyone for a day and only face the textbooks for study purpose. THAT my friend, it is call ultimate craziness.

For the whole day, I just study my japanese language while watching the rain falls outside the window. It is not a pretty sight plus, it increases the blues in my feeling.

Stuck one day in my room, helps me realized how Japanese feels about their house. Sometimes when I go out with Japanese friends here, I heard something about they doesn't like to stay in their room. They rather spend their time outside with colleagues or friends in bar drinking or go to do some gambling, Pachinko and stuff. Well, it is neither related to money saving or like to stay outside. It is about facing the four wall all the time when reach back home.

Have you felt helplessness and loneliness before? The feeling of loneliness and helplessness starts creeping into you when you are all alone in a room, or facing the four walls without anyone to talk to you and help you solve your boredness.

Staying in Japan really is a challenge for me. No matter when I am outside or inside the room. There is always new things to learn. Now I learn that I must face my own feeling myself. Learned that life is not always noisy and fun. Most of the time is about ourselves. Everyone sometimes have to face the war between our inner self and outer self.

Luckily I have God to be friends with me. No matter how long time past, Friends would leave me. Family would leave me. But God would always be at my side. Helping me to grow and give me encouragements. Felt that I am so lucky to be alive and always have God stay in my heart.

These days, when stay in Japan, such a lonely country. Makes me realized that I need friends more. Not onlt it helps me appreciate my friends more. It also helps me to appreciate my family even more.

The longer I stay in Japan, I realized that Japan itself is a developing country. It is the people. These people, they like to learn. They like to see new ideas and experience new things. Therefore, this country keeps growing. Regardless of their non-generous attitude, this country really unique compare to others. People keep on learning, and they keep on growing in mentally and physically.

Overall, I am impressed with the people here. But one thing I have regrets over this country. It lacks of religion concept. It is true that the bible said. The more advance one country become, the worst their religion concept become. Maybe because the busy factor and the independent factor. Makes everyone feels that they must depend on themselves in order to survive in one world.

Anw, thats all I have to say. Japan is a great country. Hope whoever have the heart to come to Japan, be prepare for one BIG culture shock. And this country really needs gospel. Whoever have the heart to spread gospel in Japan, please come. It would be great to see salvation in Japan.

God bless.